for that sometimes we actively seek our companion or sometimes we just wait for an opportunity to fall on our lap and try to take the advantage of the time. I think I was in one of those situations in last summer…let me explain the whole situation for your reading pleasure.

It was a very bright,sunny and warm Sunday morning(remember ..how hot the last summer was..)..It was already very hot and I was going uptown on 6th Ave around 28/29th St..(Because of all the wholesale flower stores, that area is called “The Flower District”).I was very comfortable in my air conditioned new taxi and listening my favorite songs..I was stopped by a man and he asked me to open the trunk door. So I did..and there came a beautiful woman in her early mid 40s and sat inside the taxi. She was very happy to feel the air conditioning inside.

The man brought two wide boxes full of small plants and put inside the trunk. She told me that she would make two stops…one is 99th St and Madison Ave and then she would go to downtown near South St Seaport. I was very happy to get the fare as I knew the fare would be at least $36 to $38 dollars and in Sunday morning that is very helpful.

She seemed to be very nice and easy to talk to. I asked her about the destination as it was close to the Mount Sinai Hospital and she told me that her husband was in the hospital from last 9 months for some serious illness (she did not tell me the type of illness and I did not want to know that either..as I could see that she did not want to explain..and I fully understood)..She will drop some flower which she had in her hand and then will go back to her apartment. She told me that the doctor told her that he would not survive and she knew that too very well.

All of a sudden the whole atmosphere inside the cab became very sad and I tried to change the subject. So I told her that she should not be so sad as she was very young and she had a long time left (I started to joke around so that she forgot the pain for the time being) as the national average for a woman to die is about 80 years..she started to laugh and I was looking through the mirror..she was looking stunning with snow white teeth and a smile to die for.

I gave her some complement and she was very cordial about it. She went to see her ailing husband and I parked my car nearby and started to make some phone call.

She came back about 20 minutes later and then she told me to take 2nd ave down to all the way and I was kind of surprised because the FDR drive is the better and faster way to go. I did not mind as if that’s the was she wanted to go..that’s the way she should go..

She started to ask me all the questions like when did I come to USA..why did I come, when did I get married..if I was happy with my wife..she also asked me about my kids and so on and I was happy that she was keeping me busy as I was feeling sleepy because of not been able to sleep the night before. I started telling her some of my jokes and she was very happy to hear those. I was actually looking at her through the rear view mirror. She had a great looking face and when she laughed she had a kind of glow coming out of her face. I was hoping that her smile would always be with her.

When I reached the destination,a brand new Apartment Building overlooking the East River; she asked me to park the car nearby and help her by carrying one tray to her apartment. She reminded me that she would pay me extra and I was so embarrassed for that. Money is never an issue with me because money comes after family, happiness, health, character and so on.

We took the elevator to 17th floor and she asked me to come inside her apartment. I did not think that I should have gone to her apartment or not but so far my feelings for her was a great one. I was surprised to see that her apartment was extremely clean, no dog or cat and there was no smell of any sort.

After I put the tray on the table..I was thinking that as soon as she paid I would be gone but she asked me if I want Coke or Coffee…I refused graciously and told her that I should be going. But she had something in her voice ..some kind of genuine friendly tone..and told me that I could not leave without having some thing and I did not have a heart to say no to her.

She reminded me few times that she would pay me extra for the time. That time I protested out of being embarrassment and told her,” Please don’t say that again..I feel embarrassed talking about money. OK tell me what do you want me to have..” She told me,” Now you are talking..did you have your breakfast..?” I told her that I did not have my breakfast yet so she said that she was making breakfast for me.

I was enjoying the whole attention she was giving me. I told her that I would make the breakfast for her as I was a great cook and I would love to cook for her. I asked for eggs, tomato, cheese, green pepper and mushroom and luckily she had everything so I made her great Southern Omelet and bread. She gave me such a great compliment that I became kind of shy.

After having the coffee (I made the coffee too) I thanked her for a great time and wanted to leave. Now the problem was that I could not take money from her after the way she treated me. She tried to give me a $100 dollar bill and I refused to take any money..she tried to put the bill inside my shirt pocket….and I would not let her give any money..

I don’t know what happened and how it happened….all I knew that she grabbed my hair from the back as I didn’t have that much hair on top..then she took my eyeglasses off my face..it seemed to me that the time stood still..I lost the count of time..before even I know she kissed me and my two lips were inside of her mouth.

She had the perfect lips..she pressed hard and I fall on the sofa…It was like you see in a love story with all those smoke coming out of the open field..the air was filled with the aroma of spring…the soft music was playing…and so on..

It took her may be only 30 seconds before she got back her senses…she ran to the next room and I sat there like a stupid ..who did not know how to react. I was thinking what should I do..should I just leave or should I just knock the door…but ended up doing nothing..just was sitting there..

I did not even know her name..so I called her..” Miss..I got to go..” She came back after a while and clearly was very embarrassed about the situation. Her eyes were full of tears and said,” I am sorry..I did not know what happened to me and I lost control of myself. please forgive me ..”

I smiled and told her,” I understand…don’t feel sorry for that..but I really got to go..and I am not taking any money.” I got up and about to leave then she came and hold my hand and asked me if I could listen to her for few more minutes..I asked her what was in her mind. She told me,” Shaheed…I really liked you..do you mind if I ask you something..?” I told her that she could ask me anything.

She asked me,” Would you mind to give me company on the weekend…? You come here in the morning and stay with me the whole day…we would go to museums, movies, do some shopping ..and so on and I will pay you handsomely for your time.”

I said,” Ms. I don’t even know your name…when it comes to doing that..I have a very soft heart and I know for sure that I won’t be able to handle the situation…I have a very weak heart and it breaks for everyone and especially for a such a beautiful woman…I will definitely fall in love with you and that will be a disaster for both of us..it will be even worse if you fall in love with me..just think what if..?”

“One question; what is bugging me is that why me..? I am a big fat guy..not even remotely attractive..you could get any man especially any white guy you wanted?” She told me,” I know what you mean..but I don’t trust any one..all they want is my money…and I have gone through same path before I met my husband and now he is about to be gone….

I can’t live alone..and sometimes I wonder how am I going to survive after he is gone…you wanted to know that why you..? I don’t know…you seemed to be well educated, genuine and most importantly a family man and I thought you could use some help to sort your finance out ..and I will help you anyway I can.”

“You have something in your eyes which says that I can trust you.” I told her,” I am honored by your thought and consideration but I just can not do what you asked me to do..”

I told her,” Ms. I am well too familiar with this kind of situation. I know exactly what will happen…since your husband is dying and once he is gone..you will be much more vulnerable and that moment if anyone comes in especially if you think that that person is a good guy and you will depend on that person more and more..in this case if it is me..you will definitely be depending on me and soon or later I will do the same thing..that would be very dangerous for both of us..”

“I am married for a very long time and I love my wife very much..on the other hand I am not that strong either when it comes to deal with my heart…and if I do fall in LOVE with you then think about it..everyone associated with this like my kids, wife and most importantly YOU…I will not be able to handle the situation.” I gave her a whole big scenario that I did not know if I could even capable of doing that.

Then again I said,” And then again if I take your money then you become my employer..and how could I be your friend and employee at the same time..? I might not have money but I have pride and my pride will never allow me to mix business with heart..”

She did not utter a word..her head was down..I knew she was thinking..she was next to me..I touched her on her shoulder…I picked her face up and sure enough she was crying…” I knew that we all are helpless to our heart…but I really felt so bad that I wished..if I could help…she took a tissue and wiped her tears..

She tried to give me her business card…and said,” I understand..you have a very uncanny ability to make people understand..and you know what..that’s exactly I knew you would do..and I was not surprised..now you see why I did trust you..? If it was someone from my people..trust me chances are he would take my offer. Thank you so very much for your pep talk and I will remember you all my life.”

I did not take her card even though I knew her address.. I said,” Ms. (surprisingly she never told me her name and I did not want to know that either…)..do you know how people’s heart work…? If I keep your card ..since I would have an opportunity to call you…if I ever had a fight with my wife..guess who will I call first..?..You know it will be YOU..and there will be no way going back..and I don’t want that..”

“I am a 47 yrs old guy..have grown up kids..and I love my wife..there are some problems with my wife and I but …so I don’t want to even get a chance where I have an option. When a person is given an option, chances are he will take the option…so it is better for both of us if I did not take your card.”

She gave me a hug..and I also gave her a big hug..hold her tight for about a minute…tears came down from my eyes. she looked up..we both had tears in our eyes..she wiped my eyes and I did hers…She asked me if I would kiss her…I thought for a second and I grabbed her even tighter and planted a deep kiss on her mouth…

She gave me that $100 dollars bill again …I smiled and told her..” If you really want me to make you happy by taking the money ..here is the change..and don’t you dare to give me more than that..I gave her $62 dollars back and that time she did accept the change.

I told her before I leave,” You wanted to give me money for the time I spent today..you know what..I got much more than my money back..I got a life long memory..and that’s priceless…I will cherish this few moments of my life as the most beautiful, most loved moments of my life..

I will never forget your face..deep inside I know I want you but I just can’t… I have priority too…I will remember you as the most beautiful dream..I opened my eyes and you are gone.. “..She smiled but I knew that smile was a painful smile.

I got back to work but after an hour..I was not feeling well mentally..her teary eyes were in front of me..I just came back home…While I was driving ..one thing was killing me..what was that..was it love..? Love at first ride..? Who knows..?