We left London about an hour later. The new Air Hostess was very nice too and she told us that there was no one for First Class so we could get the whole area for ourselves. There were very few people flew just After the War. The Pilot announced that it would take about 7 hours and 5 minutes to land in JFK Airport in New York City.
We had our 1st meal in the New York bound plane about 40 minutes after we flew …She did not want to eat anything but I literally had to feed her spoon by spoon. She also fed me. I joked around with her, I tried to make her mood better but she did not smile or hit me like the other few times . .
She crawled back to my seat, lay down sidewise beside me. I pulled up the blanket over us. The Air Hostess walked in and saw us lying down together in one seat. She smiled and told us not to get up as she came to lower the windows and dim the lights.
There was not even a single sound inside the plane ..Only a buzzing sound of the engines running…she whispered to my ear,” Jaan, sesh baarer moto amake ador koro, Ami more jete chai tomar valobasha peye.” In English, “My love, make love to me for the last time. I want to die receiving your love..”
I made love to her for the last time. She enjoyed it thoroughly. She kept her eyes closed for few minutes. I asked her to open her eyes so that I can look at her soul. She said, ” No, everything seems a sweet dream to me. I don’t want to open my eyes. I know it will go away as soon as I open my eyes..”
I was looking at her. I knew the time is coming up. We had about 4 more hours to land. She was looking pale …as if someone was ripping her heart out. Her silky smooth skin looked whitish. I took some lotion from the little packet the airline gave us. I rubbed on her arms. She raised her legs.
I rubbed on her legs too…she started to cry. I could not hold myself either. I was putting a brave face but seeing tears in her eyes, I started to cry with her.
“Please take care of yourself…go back to your wife. Don’t worry about me. I will be alright, the amount of love you gave me in these 5 days is enough to live my whole life…” She started to be brave …I wiped her eyes off with a tissue…she did mine, I smiled.
I told her, “Never admit to your husband, no matter how much you love him. “She put her hand on my mouth and said,” You don’t know anything about me. I will not be able to love him. I will stay with him. I will compromise but loving him…no way. I will not put him in your place..”
I said..” Life is long my love. You will have to live. You will have kids one day…live your life ..Don’t give him a chance to say anything ..Don’t tell him anything, keep this secret and take it to your grave as I will take it with me..”
She kept her head down. Tears were gushing out from her eyes. I pulled her chin up. Wiped her tears off. I said, ‘ “Listen to me. I will be with you all the time, if you ever wake up in the middle of the night, if you ever have a situation you feel lonely, if you ever feel pain for any reason, remember I am with you. Remember me..don’t forget me.I will be with you all the time. If I die before you, you will find me in those stars in the middle of the night.”
“If you ever cry, remember I would be in those drops of tears. Don’t let me fall down…hold on to those tears. If any rainy day your heart feels the pain, a drop or two tears come in your eyes. Remember I am crying with you as a rain drop..”
“If you ever feel helpless. Remember those days we spent in Muscat. You will get back the strength. When I will be gone from this world, remember I will be waiting for you on the other side of life…we could not be together in this life, but we sure will be living in the heaven being together.”
She was holding me tight, ” I know. I know all of these. But how will I be living my life now ? It is so easy to say but I know how I will keep living with a person who is a total stranger to me. Why did you come to my life..? I was happy in my own little world..I did not know my husband but I thought I would fall in love afterwards.”
“I always wanted to love someone before I got married..why did it happen like this..? Why did you come to my life ? In last 5 days I have a habit of you. Now you are telling me that we can’t be together..How would I live without you..? How would I live with someone I don’t even know..? Have you thought about that..?”
I wiped off her tears with my tongue. She said ,”Yaak.” And smiled like a stupid little girl. She jumped on me and I grabbed her and held her tight.
I noticed that as the time was coming to an end she started to act more and more insane. She asked me, “Will I see you ever again..?” I did not know how to answer. I knew how gullible and weak she was…I answered..” Do you think it would be good for both of us..? I thought of this but I know this time I let you go but next time I would be able to let you go, no matter when I see you. So it is better not to see each other”.
“If I give you my telephone number and address. Guess what you will do. Whenever people are given an option. Normally people choose the option. The very first time you have a fight with your husband. You will pick up the phone to call me and there would not be going back. Think about it what will happen..?”
She started to hit me, “Tell me how I am going to live without you ?Tell me why you came in my life. Why.. Why..? Why did you love me so much..?” She started to scream. I started to panic. What if the Air Hostess comes back then what will I tell her ?
Sure enough she came running. “What happen..? What happen dear..?” She asked. I was totally not ready for that. I said,” She asked me to celebrate the next Eid in Bangladesh with her parents. And I jokingly said to her that she would not be able to go to see her parents at least not for 10 years. So she started to cry..”
I don’t know whether The Air Hostess bought my explanation or not but she put her hand on top of her hair and told her,” Don’t worry. He was just joking..” Then she left…
I opened my arms and got her inside of my arms. She was lying down with me for the last time…I kissed her fore head, lips, then told her the rules of the Immigration, customs. I don’t know whether she heard it or not..
We were served meal about an hour and half before we landed. I spoon fed her with all the love I had in my heart. She fed me too…I filled up her Disembarkation forms and custom forms..
She gave me a piece of paper and asked me to write her name. I thought she would want me to write my address but she did not do that rather she asked me to write her name. I asked her,” What will you do with that..?” She answered,” That will be the only memory which I will be able to touch. We did not take any photo..you don’t want to give your address or telephone number..so I will live seeing your hand writing with me. I will keep this with me till I die.And it’s my name so no one will suspect anything.”
I wrote her name on that paper and told her,” If you don’t laminate it will soon be torn.” She said,”Of course..I will.” I thought she was so smart.
She kissed on my hand writing and started to cry again,”Whenever I will be alone you know that I will think about you..down the road if I am ever busy that I will not be able to remember you all the time, this will remind me of you. I will get my strength by kissing it.”
She asked me,” Is there any way that we can be together..? Is there no way..? What if I want to be your second wife..? What if I have no problem with your wife..what if she accepts me as her little sister..?”
I told her,” You know it will not happen. My wife will not accept that..in fact, no woman will accept that kind of arrangement and you have a husband, what will happen to him..?I understand since he did not live with you there is no love, no bond but I do have love for my wife. I know you might think that I am selfish..”
She did not let me finish the sentence,” No you are not selfish. You told me everything beforehand, you did not hide anything, may be that’s why I die on you as you were so straight and honest with me.”
She looked at my hand writing again and kissed it…